Journal Entry #2

Be braver, be kinder, be wiser, be healthier.

To-Dos

Thoughts

“Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:24)

Caring for others requires caring for myself

In order to properly care for others, I must first take care of myself. This, I think, is similar to Jesus saying “first take the log out of your own eye and then you can see clearly enough to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” First off, I am not going to be much good for anyone over a long-term period (or a short-term burst) if my body and/or mind are broken. Second, how can I be sure that the advice that I am giving is “good” if I don’t even follow it myself? Don’t I listen to my own advice? How can I be sure that I am not rather trying to show how “wise” I am? This does not reflect the heart of someone who loves the person they are caring for, but instead someone who just wants to glorify themselves. Thirdly, if I am on a trajectory towards poorer and poorer condition, then I will, sooner than later, require someone to take care of me, rather than me taking care of someone else.

If I truly desire to help other people, I will do my best to ensure that I am well-taken care of.

How can I better care for myself so that I can better take care of others?

Ensure that I am as healthy (mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally) as possible
Ensure that I am saving/making as much money as possible

Evaluating what is most important to me. (II, cont’d from 2025-11-11)

Yesterday I concluded that my current (though dwindling and soon to be “previous”) highest value was “the opinion of others regarding my value or worth”. After thinking about this even more, I can undoubtedly confirm this to be true. My method for this reasoning is by evaluating what upsets me the most. The things that most brutally tormented me were occasions when someone said something poor about me, and the closer the person is to me, the more devastating the effect. So if Hayley, my wife, says something negative about me, then it is very likely to be true, because I trust her judgment and she knows me better than anybody, which is why it hurts so much.

What am I up to?

I believe that I have finally caught a whiff of the actual meaning of life. In particular, the meaning of my own life. And without sounding too cheesy, I think that it is this: to be the absolute best person that I can be. To relentlessly pursue this.

A couple of questions probably need asked and answered:

How did I reach that conclusion?
How do I define “best”?
How do I reach that goal?

Let’s start with the second question, then the third, and then maybe the first.

How do I define “best” in terms of “best person I could be”?

I think that to some degree, at least at the beginning, there are going to be differences about how people answer this question. I think that a lot of people are going to have some sort of famous person in their mind, some person that they admire, and try to be as much like that person as possible. At least I think this is how most people already live their lives. Though I don’t think most people would be excited to admit this.

In some ways, I’m taking this approach as well, but with some differences, as I’ll get to. If there is one person that I want to strive to be like, one person who fully encapsulates what it means to be “good” and fully embodies that, it is Jesus. I think everyone would agree with that to some extent. Nobody thinks of Jesus and then immediately thinks, “Oh Jesus was just terrible.” In fact I think everyone who knows anything about Jesus would admit to that. Non-Christians would add though, “Yea, Jesus was great, but He was not God.” This is where I disagree, but I won’t go any further than that here.

So, to be the best that I can be would mean that I am striving to be more and more like Jesus.

But this gets complicated, because I am not Jesus, and therefore I am not God, and my circumstances and responsibilities are not different most those of Jesus.

So ultimately I want to live as close as I can to how Jesus would live my life, given my circumstances and responsibilities (I think I am borrowing this idea from Dallas Willard). Or, put another way, I am seeking to live by faith, to walk by the Spirit.

This sounds great, but am I really doing it? Do I really believe this? Or am I a hypocrite? Most likely yes, but that shouldn’t stop me from trying to do more closely align myself with this ideal every day.

Now I’m going to take a second to try and outline a few aspects of Jesus’ character, as told through the gospel accounts, specifically aspects that I think are reproducible by most people.

Jesus was kind, but He was not nice.
Jesus was wise.
Jesus was brave.
Jesus was honest.

How do I become the best that I can be?

In order to answer this question, I’d like to start by rephrasing it a bit, taking into consideration the answer from the previous section. In order to do this I need to sit down and seriously consider, each and every day, the following question: “How would Jesus live my life today?”